How cool would it be if everything you did in life was just for practice? And not necessarily practice in preparation for some future performance or competition, but practice just for the sake of learning or improving in the execution of a particular skill—be it, tying your shoes, sinking a jump shot, or communicating kindly, gently, and yet also honestly with your spouse, with your son or daughter, or, even, with yourself?
While a key and hoped-for byproduct of practice is, of course, improved competence, what if seeking to improve was no longer the prime motive. What if instead, the principal motivation in practicing was simply to enjoy and become more of who you are already through your doing of something mindfully, meaning, with your heart, soul, and body devoted 100% to whatever it was you were doing? I know I’m asking a lot of questions here, but what if instead of just brushing your teeth before bed tonight, you "practiced" doing so? And did so in the manner I just described….where you stay completely present in the activity.
When one practices something, for example brushing one’s teeth, one’s attentions become focused intently on the various elements that comprise the activity: dispensing toothpaste onto your toothbrush; turning on the water and waiting for it to heat up; slipping your toothbrush under the water to wet and warm the toothpaste and bristles; turning off the water; lifting your toothbrush to your mouth; and then commencing with the process of moving your toothbrush back and forth rhythmically across your teeth, gums, and tongue.
To practice is to begin to pay attention, also, to how everything feels, looks, sounds, and tastes: the warmth of the water; the feel of the bristles on your gums; the taste of the toothpaste; etc. When was the last time you listened intently to the sound of running water in the faucet of your bathroom or even allowed yourself to slow down long enough to taste (and, perhaps, even enjoy the taste) of your toothpaste?
More questions…
What if also, in choosing to approach everything you do as though it’s just practice, you allowed your compulsive need to be perfect or to get everything exactly right every time begin to fall by the wayside? How much more enjoyable would your work and every-day actions be if this way of being became the norm? And how many other pursuits would you attempt or take up if such became the case? Many years ago, I asked my late wife, Brenda, if she would like to take piano lessons. Her response was, “I’ve never been very good at playing the piano…why would I take lessons?” As absurd as such a thing might sound (and I mean no disrespect to Brenda), ALL of us do this kind of thing, don’t we? At least, to one degree or another. It is, I believe, the curse of “responsible adulthood”...the curse that says, "Stay within the areas of already achieved competence because that's what will help you pay the bills, get ahead professionally, and provide a more secure future for yourself and for your family."
Our culture is incredibly performance oriented. It is obsessed with it, in fact. So much so that each of us on a daily basis—if not minute-by-minute—run the risk of feeling that if we don’t hit it out of the park in everything and all the time (even the very first time), we’re somehow a failure. In baseball, the greatest hitters in the world get on base (aside from being walked) between 30 and 40% of the time. Babe Ruth hit 714 home runs in his career. Do you know how many times he struck out? 1,330 times. Yeah, he was most definitely the home run king; but he was also the strikeout king. To quote Merrill Hess, a fictional home run and strikeout king, played by Joaquin Phoenix in the 2002 M. Night Shyamalan movie Signs: "It felt wrong not to swing."
When one is practicing, one DOES NOT have to get it all right or to get it right all the time. A practicer makes mistakes and embraces his mistakes. In fact, a practicer runs toward his mistakes and seeks to make them as often and as quickly as possible. Such a one does this because he or she knows the value of a mistake and, as such, is not defeated or shamed by it but is instead honed and formed by it.
So…as I sit here in this moment, thinking upon all these things, I have concluded that I would much prefer to be placed in situations where I really don’t know what I‘m doing than to be placed in situations, time and time again, where I pretty much know already what the outcome is going to be. The monastics and warriors of eternity past lived such a philosophy to a tee. Perhaps, that’s why to each of them every day was so illuminating unto itself. Each moment became a new creation from within as such a one practiced flowing with whatever arose in his or her current experience. Oh, that we might all live in such a way. And that we, too (beginning with you and I), might be a part of creating a culture where the making of mistakes is not just tolerated but lauded. That has become my hope and, dare I say, my prayer for me and for those I love and care about.
To err is human, my friends, and we cannot possibly be anything other than who we are. To learn from our “errs”is also human. Be human, and please give yourself permission to be so, okay? And practice…practice everything…practice all the time…even when you’re distracted, discouraged, tired, or just don’t feel like it. And, as I’ve written before, don’t forget to have fun, okay? Because having fun is at least half the point of doing or practicing anything!
Daver
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