Recently, I, as well as several of my friends, have experienced the death of either a family member or a friend, and it has got me to thinking about death and dying and my own death. As I think upon these things, I am reminded of a concept Henri Nouwen touched on in Life of the Beloved, wherein he wrote of how our death can be a gift to those around us—but only if we've lived well.
Those who live well, leave something of themselves with us. It is a part of the legacy of their lives. And, when they die, we remember those parts, savor them, and even make them a part of who we are. In their having lived well, we experience very little confusion about their lives when they die. We miss them (of course!), and we feel great pain and loss, BUT...we feel it all within the context of a great "knowing:" THE KNOWING that we really knew them, THE KNOWING that they knew us, and THE KNOWING that we know of The Place to where they have gone. And just as they leave a little of themselves with us, they take a little of us with them. In this really cool exchange, a part of them still remains here with us, while a part of us goes on with them, creating a bridge between us and them, here and there, now and then. Our continued (and eternal!) experience of them and their continued experience of us becomes a magnet that pulls us ever onward toward a grand reunion that awaits only our final arrival someday there in that place.
In all of this, death can become a friend and joy of sorts: A friend or family member has finished their race, and now they’re waiting for us to eventually cross our finish line as well. Truly, God finds pleasure in the deaths of His saints. May we begin to do so, too, while we live well as the Spirit empowers. Peace…
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