I’ve been thinking about this very thing for some time now (for many years, actually). In fact, Henri Nouwen's book, Life of the Beloved, is, and will continue to be, an all time favorite of mine. In my heart, there are two things that I long to hear from my Father:
- “Well done, My good and faithful servant. Enter in to your Master’s rest. ”
- “This is My beloved Son, in Whom I AM well-pleased.”
Of course, #2 above is that which was Spoken to Jesus upon His emergence from the waters of baptism. But who among us does not want to hear God say something similar to us personally?
”You are My beloved son; in you I AM so very well-pleased!”
Or…
“You are My beloved daughter; in you I find all My delight!”
I, for one, long to hear God say such things to me and to my brothers and sisters around me. Don’t you?
Something happened yesterday…
Something happened to me yesterday during worship. But before I share what happened, I would like to share a dream I had more than twenty-five years ago. Today, that dream is still as vivid as it was the night I dreamt it.
Here’s what I dreamt (I shared this in my blog several months ago)…
My dream…
In August of 1986, I dreamt that I died and went to Heaven.
While I think it was a dream, I cannot be sure.
In my “dream,” I’m in the temple of the Most High. It’s an outdoor temple, with lots of stone and columns and green, viney plants, and before me is a set of steps leading up to God’s thrown. In the moment of my awareness, I notice that I'm seated on one of the bottom steps and just gazing up at Jesus. It's at this point that Jesus proceeds to come down to where I am and, with a touch of sadness, says to me: "Dave…if only you’d just followed Me, we could have done so much more together.” In that moment, I realize what a fool I’ve been and just lose it—and I mean lose it. In my anguish, I cry out to God (as He wraps His Arms around me): “Give me another chance, Lord! Oh God, please, just give me another chance! Please, please, please…give me another chance!” I can hardly get the words out as I am so overwhelmed with grief over how I’ve wasted my life.
And then I woke up.
And then I woke up.
Or arose.
Did I die? In a way, yes. (And it was a very good death!) For, you see, I had been struggling for so long against God over the direction of my life. I wanted to be in ministry, and He wanted me to study water biology and civil/environmental engineering. He heard me, though (just as I heard Him), because He granted me a second chance—OUR second chance...TOGETHER. And, now, nearly 25 years later, all I want to do is to be where He is, and, most recently, it would seem, He’s been hanging out a lot in third world countries where clean water and sanitation is a scarcity. Oh that my Lord might do much and just let me tag along with Him!
Okay…so that’s what I dreamt in 1986; here’s what happened yesterday...
My vision…
During worship, I had a vision. (Last night, when I was recounting all of this to my dearest friend, I couldn’t remember what song it was that we were singing when I had my experience. This morning, though, I remembered it: “The Wonderful Cross.” A link to the song is provided below.)
Anyway, as we were all singing this song yesterday during the third service at newhope, and as my arms were outstretched in worship of God, I experienced a vision:
In my vision (as we were all singing), I saw what appeared to be two angels take my arms and hold them up against the horizontal piece of an already erected cross. As they held my arms down, I willingly submitted as they wrapped my arms to the cross-bar with rope. I felt no pain, and, as I indicated above, I submitted willingly to all of this. At that point, Jesus appeared and proceeded to drive spikes through my wrists into the cross-bar and then to drive a spike through the upper portions of my feet into the vertical stand of the cross. Again, I felt no pain and submitted gladly to what was happening. A moment later, Jesus stepped back from His work, looked at me, and then threw His Arms around me. Though nothing was said, messages were conveyed. After this, Jesus then knelt at the foot of the cross and began to wash my bloody feet. Again, I felt no pain during any of this.
Yesterday, last night, and today, I have thought of almost nothing but this vision, the dream I had twenty-five years ago, the belovedness that I am invited to embrace at The Table of our Lord, the scriptures that recount where Jesus washed the feet of His disciples, and the scripture passage in Isaiah 52:7, which reads as follows: How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news, who proclaim peace, who bring good tidings, who proclaim salvation, who say to Zion, "Your God reigns!”
Listening to the Whispers…
While I’m going to give myself some time to listen for the interpretation God brings to me of all of these things and of how they all tie together in my life, here are some of my initial thoughts and feelings…
I am my Father’s beloved, and I am Jesus’ baby brother. (By no means does this mean that I will become as Jesus and be God—NO!!)
The hug Jesus gave me in my dream twenty-five years ago, and the hug He gave me in my vision yesterday, while related, represent two very different things. The embrace from twenty-five years ago was one of comfort and was given to bring about repentance. The one yesterday, though, was one of great welcome, as though Jesus were saying to me, “Our work together has been exceedingly good. You are with Me, and I AM with you. I AM yours, and you are Mine. Welcome to Life as it's meant to be lived, Dave.”
The reason I felt no pain being nailed to the cross is because, it would seem, a dead man feels no such pain.
The significance of Jesus washing the blood off my feet is simply to affirm that He and I are together and that together we will bring good news, proclaim peace, bring good tidings, proclaim salvation, and shout out to Zion, “Our God reigns!”
In time, I will share more, my friends. Thanks for listening…
Dave
“The Wonderful Cross,” by Matt Redman and Chris Tomlin
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