"One of the Holiest Conversations I've Ever Had"

What would you like?

You know already, Lord…

My heart’s desire is as it has been for so long:  to know Your Mind and to feel Your Heart.  Please, Lord, just give me whatever Your Heart desires.

As you have asked, so shall it be granted...

Because you have not asked Me for freedom, I AM going to give you just that, Dave:  Freedom—ultimate freedom.  Freedom to be completely you—YOU as you are…hidden in Me, with Me hidden in you.

 And…

I AM going to place My Own Heart within yours.  From this point on, you will know My Heart because it will become the very beat of your own.

"Wealth"

I have one life—one real shot at things—and I’d like to make it count.

Even though I’m motivated by many things, there’s one motivation that stands out above the rest…one that’s particularly meaningful. 

Are you ready?  Well, here it is…

—Increasing and Enjoying My Own Personal Wealth—

“Increasing your wealth?!!  Dave, dude…could you be any shallower?”  Umm...yeah, I think I could.

When I talk about “wealth,” I’m not talking about money or status.  (There is, by the way, nothing wrong with those things so long as they don’t own you.  Hey, man, if you’ve got two million in the bank—cool.  You can’t live on that, but it’s not a bad place to start, you know?)  What I am talking about, though, are those things in life that make me feel wealthy of soul.  Full.  Not full as in I just ate three cheeseburgers, but full as in full of life...full of God...full of vibrant, life-giving energy.  Full to the point of sadness, even.  In many ways, life is sorrow.  Not the sorrow of being mistreated, nor of feeling sorry for myself, nor of feeling deprived.  It is, rather, the sadness that is the natural result of fullness...a shedding of tears kind of fullness.  The fullness that comes from being touched by life—those tender and personal experiences that reach the me that resides deep within me.  Fullness comes from a direct experience of life and the True and Ultimate Source of that life.

Such fullness allows me to open myself up to others and to be known by them (and, it would seem, to then experience even greater fullness as a result).  And, is that not what we all really want?  To be known and loved?  To have those we love and that love us get it about who it is that we are and what it is that we're about?  To me, THAT is an essential ingredient of fullness.

The quality of my life has everything to do with the people in it.  I draw tremendous strength and energy from my family, from my friends, and, especially, from the One Who created me.  My greatest memories are wrapped up completely in my experiences with them.  And I treasure those memories.  They are among the many anchors that tether me to who I am as a person, today.

My wealth also comes from my hobbies and interests.  I love to laugh and to find the comical in whatever I can.  Scott Peck once wrote (and I paraphrase), “Life is difficult (That alone is a profound statement.) and is, it would seem, comprised endlessly of a series of challenges that must be overcome.”  In my life, having deep interests, a sense of humor, and the ability to play at life are, I believe, some of what gives me the inspiration, flexibility, and stick-to-it-tiveness I need to plod through the difficulties I face on a daily basis.  They give me the confidence to explore “the new” and to work toward mastering “the old.”

There are some in life—the Gandhis, the Martin Luther Kings, the Anne Franks, the Mother Teresas, the Billy Grahams—who will affect the world on an epic scale.  Did you know that in Gandhi’s life, he liberated over 300 million people?  I may never be such a person.  But…through my fullness—my genuineness, my compassion, my service, and my laughter—I may befriend or even inspire such a one.  And, through that, play a small role in, possibly, liberating millions.  Now how cool would that be?

Be full, my friends...

Peace,

Bling

Note:  I am very grateful for the writings of M. Scott Peck and Chogyam Trungpa that have, through the years, so powerfully influenced my thinking along these lines.

"Beginning with the End in Mind"

Obituary

Durham, NC.  Dave Brown died in his sleep at the age of 104 on Tuesday, December 11, 2069.  Born on November 12, 1965, in Washington, D.C., Dave sought, throughout his life, to know and to understand the Heart and Mind of God and to share all that he had with those around him.

Vocationally, Dave worked as an ecological engineer, inventor, and product developer for more than 60 years, but his passion in life was for his wife and kids and for his many friends and adopted family members throughout the developing world.  From early on, it was Dave's aim to inspire his friends and family, no matter where they were, to dream the greatest of dreams and to pursue life and a deep and abiding relationship with Jesus Christ and with other people.  Even though Dave was an avid exercise enthusiast and a devoted Muay Thai practitioner until well into his nineties, in the latter years, he devoted much of his time to writing, to composing music, to traveling with his wife, and to playing with his grandchildren.

Dave is preceded in death by his first wife, Brenda (June 3, 2002), and by his second wife of the last 57 years, [xyz], who died the Tuesday before last at the tragically young age of 98.

In death, Dave has left a lasting legacy of a great love for children throughout the world as well as for his own dear children, Melissa, Angela, Stephen, and Robert-Christopher, and for his twelve beloved grandchildren.

In lieu of flowers, the family requests that donations be made to any of the following organizations:

The 410 Bridge
Charity: Water
World Vision
BrightPoint for Children
Engineers Without Borders
The Lymphoma and Leukemia Society
The Multiple Sclerosis Society
The Durham Gardeners Club
Newhope Church, Durham, NC
The U.S. Muay Thai Association
Young MMA Practitioners of the African Continent

A memorial service will be held at 1pm on Saturday, December 15th, at Newhope Church in Durham, NC.  All are welcomed to attend.

Tombstone Epitaph

Here lies a maestro of life,

A virtuoso of generosity and compassion,

And a true human being...

One who loved his family, loved his friends, loved Jesus,

And gave of himself completely to those who needed him.

 ---

Dearest Dad, Granddaddy, and Friend...

We miss your laughter and the gentle breeze of your calming presence.

Your life will forever be remembered.

"Dreaming of a Lifesong"

About a year and a half ago, I had a very vivid dream…

---
In my dream, it's early evening in the late summer, and I'm standing in the parking lot looking over toward the swimming pool in the apartment complex where I used to live.  In my dream, I can see a young woman with long blonde hair and wearing a tan sundress.  She's standing by the pool and holding a violin and bow in her hands, but she isn't playing.

Out of the corner of my eye, I spot an old man walking up toward the woman.  In his hands are a violin case and a bow of his own.  Upon reaching her, the old man sits his case down on one of the many outdoor lounge chairs, opens the case, and pulls out his violin.  After tuning the strings for a moment, He picks up His bow, positions His violin, and begins to play.  The ancient melody that comes forth is exquisite, unlike anything I've ever heard before.

After playing for a minute or so, the old man stops playing, and, with a child-like exuberance, looks at the young woman as if to say, "Come, My dear…come and play with Me.  Come and see, come and see...and play My Song.”

The woman looks down at what's in her hands, almost as if she doesn't know what she has, and then, gazing up at the old man in front of her, slowly raises her violin and bow.  Continuing to smile, the old man begins to play again, and, soon, the woman joins in.  For a few minutes, the two of them play together with such harmonious beauty that it brings tears to my eyes.  A moment or two later, the old man stops playing, and, with such admiration, just sits back and watches and listens as the young woman begins to loose herself in the melody that's flowing from within her.  Again, I've neither seen nor heard such radiant beauty.

After listening to the young woman play for some time, the old man packs up His violin and proceeds to walk away from her, all the while, enjoying the music as it continues to pierce the night air with it’s melodic tones and primal rhythms.

In the parking lot, a few moments later, I approach the old man and ask Him why He stopped playing with the woman.  “There was no longer a need, My son,” He answers simply.  “All that was needed was for Someone to remind her of what she already knew...of what she's known her entire life.”  Turning His head back toward the young woman, who's still playing, the old man smiles and says, “See?”  In response, I nod my head.  Yes, I did see.

---


All of us have a song—a lifesong, if you will—that was placed within us long ago by the Master Musician of our lives.  For reasons unknown, many of us have forgotten what God placed in us.  It is my hope that today will be the day that you begin to rediscover the song the Creator of the universe placed inside you.  In some ways, life is all about remembering that which we once knew but forgot somehow.  In our awakening to the Spirit's call, the lifesong we each carry can be resurrected.

The world needs to hear your song, my friends.  In this moment, may you begin to let yourself hear and feel the melody that plays continually inside you and, through the power of God’s Spirit, allow it to emanate outward to those around you.  There is little else that will create more joy in your heart than when the Song of your Father begins to flow from within you as it once did.  Know this:  that I and everyone around you is so very hungry and thirsty to hear what only you can sing.  Please don't deprive us any longer.

Peace,

Dave

Psalm 40:1-5


I waited patiently for the Lord; He turned to me and heard my cry.

He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; He set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.

He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God.

Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord.

Blessed is the man who makes the Lord his trust, who does not look to the proud, to those who turn aside to false gods.

Many, O Lord my God, are the wonders you have done.

The things You planned for us no one can recount to You; were I to speak and tell of them, they would be too many to declare.



Two Songs to Enjoy


“40,” by U2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AjtpplE39_g

“Lifesong,” by Casting Crowns
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vaia32TsPq0

"Morning Prayer: Long Sword"

Greetings, everyone, and Happy Valentine's Day!

For many years, I have practiced set forms and times of prayer in my life.  In a former life, I think I was a monk in the deserts of Asia minor somewhere.  (Just kidding...I've never been anyone but me!)  I do LOVE the monastics, though, and the many (and varied) practices of monasticism that followers of Jesus have engaged in for more than 1,500 years.

Anyway...so, yes, I do practice particular forms of prayer throughout the day as a foundational guide for what I like to think of as a continuing conversation with God.  All of my form prayers have been memorized.  Sometimes, I stick with just what I've memorized, and, at other times, I use the form as the basis for my prayers and then just allow my heart to expand upon the prayer themes contained within the form.  And, sometimes (BUT DON'T TELL ANYONE, OKAY?), I deviate completely from the form.

For many, praying in such a way may seem strange or a bit odd, but what I would like to suggest is that it is a marvelous way to bring the discipline of prayer into your life.  In addition, it can provide a road map of sorts to guide you as you pray.  I believe very much in structured spontaneity where communication with God is concerned.  For me, I need structure, but the really cool thing, though, is that within that structure I get to enjoy great freedom.

So...over the next few weeks, I will introduce many of the various form prayers that are an integral part of my daily prayer practice.  It is hoped that you will see that these "forms" are heavily laced with scripture and with prayers inspired by scripture.  As with, it is hoped, everything else in my life, it is my desire to return continually to God's Word as a basis for my life and communion with Him.

God's peace to all'y'all and to all those you love.

Being romanced by God,

Bling

"Morning Prayer:  Long Sword" 

(To be prayed upon awakening each morning.)

Our Father, Who Art in Heaven.  Hallowed be Thy Name.  Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven.  Give us this day our daily bread.  And forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.  And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.  For Thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever and ever.  Amen.

Heavenly Father, I hallow the Name of Jesus—the Name that is above all names.

Jesus, I know that one day every knee will bow and every tongue will confess that You are Lord to the praise and glory of Your Father.  In this moment, Lord, I bow my knees to You, and I confess with my mouth that You are Lord.  May Your Father be forever praised and glorified in my life.

Jesus, You are The Lord My Righteousness, The Lord Who Sanctifies Me, The Lord My Peace, The Lord Who’s There, The Lord My Provider, The Lord Who Heals Me, The Lord My Shepherd, The Lord Who Guides, Protects, and Disciplines Me, The Lord My Comforter and Counselor, The Lord Who Sees Me and Calls Me by Name, The Lord My Refuge and Ever Present Help, and The Lord Who Loves Me More than I Could Ever Ask for or Even Imagine.

Lord Jesus Christ, You Are the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords.

Jesus, You’re My Lord and Savior, My Heavenly Companion, and My Only Hope.  You’re The Creator of All that is Seen and of All that is Unseen, The Master of the Universe, The Alpha and the Omega, The Beginning and the End, and The Author and Finisher of My Faith.

Lord Jesus Christ…Oh how I love Your Name.  It’s like honey in my mouth!  In my life, Lord, may Your Name be forever hallowed and praised.

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not be in want.  He maketh me to lie down in green pastures; He leadeth me beside the still and quiet waters; He restoreth my soul.  He guideth my paths in righteousness for His Name’s sake.  And yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for Thou art with me; Thy rod and Thy staff, they comfort me.  Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies.  Thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.  Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the House of the Lord forever.

O God, You are my God, earnestly I seek You; my soul thirsts for You, my body longs for You, in a dry and weary land where there is no water.  I have seen You in the sanctuary and beheld Your power and Your glory.  Because Your love is better than life, my lips will glorify You.  I will praise You as long as I live, and in Your Name I will lift up my hands.  My soul will be satisfied with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise You.  On my bed, I remember You; I think of You through the watches of the night.  Because You are my help, I will sing in the shadow of Your wings.  My soul clings to You; Your right hand upholds me.

Lord, my heart is open.  I want whatever it is that You have for me, today.  I want only Your best for me.

Thank you, Father, for everything that has ever happened to me in my life.  It has helped me to become more of who I am already.  Everything is and has been working for my good.  I see that now.  I know it.  I feel it in my deepest parts.

Lord, I invite you to be a part of every aspect of my life today—even my thoughts.  This day—this very moment—is ours…may we live it well together.

Lord Jesus Christ, whether I live or whether I die, I am Yours.

Lord Jesus Christ, whether I live or whether I die, I am Yours.

Lord Jesus Christ, whether I live or whether I die, I am Yours.

Lord Jesus Chris, it is no longer I who lives but You Who lives in me.

Lord Jesus Chris, it is no longer I who lives but You Who lives in me.

Lord Jesus Chris, it is no longer I who lives but You Who lives in me.

For me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.

For me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.

For me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.

Here I am, Lord, ready to do Your will.

I am and will always be Your servant and friend.

With all my heart, Lord, I want to know You, and I want to be and do all that You ask of me.

May Your will be done in and through me, just as it's already being done in heaven.

Have mercy on me and forgive me, Lord, all my sins.

Cleanse the thoughts of my heart, and wash me in Your Blood.

Have mercy on me and forgive me, Lord, all my sins.

Cleanse the thoughts of my heart, and wash me in Your Blood.

Have mercy on me and forgive me, Lord, all my sins.

Cleanse the thoughts of my heart, and wash me in Your Blood.

Lord Jesus Christ, Immanuel, Son of the Living God, have mercy on me, a redeemed sinner.

Lord Jesus Christ, Immanuel, Son of the Living God, have mercy on me, a redeemed sinner.

Lord Jesus Christ, Immanuel, Son of the Living God, have mercy on me, a redeemed sinner.

Lord Jesus Christ, Immanuel, Lamb of God, Who takes away the sin of the world, grant me Your peace.

Lord, I am not worthy to receive You; only speak the Word, and I shall be healed.

Not my will, but Thine.  Into Your Hands I commit my spirit.

Not my will, but Thine.  Into Your Hands I commit my spirit.

Not my will, but Thine.  Into Your Hands I commit my spirit.

Father, I want to walk before You in holiness, humility, and purity all the days of my life.

Father, I want to walk before You in holiness, humility, and purity all the days of my life.

Father, I want to walk before You in holiness, humility, and purity all the days of my life.

Create in me a pure heart, O God, and restore a steadfast spirit within me.  Do not cast me away from Your presence or take Your Holy Spirit from me.  Restore to me the joy of Your salvation, and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

Father, help me to forgive my brothers, help me to forgive my sisters, help me to forgive myself, and help me to forgive You.  Please help me, Lord, to let go of the bitterness and resentment I hold on to so tightly, and, as I do so, may I become a more open conduit of Your loving-kindness, joy, compassion, and equanimity.  Father, please place within me Your Own Heart of genuine love, grace, and mercy that those around me might see and recognize You more fully as Your Image is reflected in and through me.

Lord, though mine enemies be many, and though they be encamped about me—hemming me in on every side—I know this:  And that is that victory is assured; for greater is He, Who is in me, than he that is in the world.

Lord Jesus Christ, place a hedge of thorns around my heart, soul, mind, and body.  Please protect me from the attacks and assaults of my enemies.

Rise up, O Jesus, and defend me.  Come quickly to my aid, and rescue me from the fowler’s snare; for Thou Art my refuge and ever present help in times of difficulty and trouble.

 The Lord is my light and my salvation--whom shall I fear?  The Lord is the stronghold of my life--of whom shall I be afraid?  When evil men advance against me to devour my flesh, when my enemies and my foes attack me, they will stumble and fall.  Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then will I be confident.  One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek:  that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek Him in His temple.  For in the day of trouble, He will keep me safe in His dwelling; He will hide me in the shelter of His tabernacle and set me high upon a rock.  Then my head will be exalted above the enemies who surround me; at His tabernacle will I sacrifice with shouts of joy; I will sing and make music to the Lord.

Be you, let people feel the weight of who you are, and let them deal with it.

Be you, let people feel the weight of who you are, and let them deal with it.

Be you, let people feel the weight of who you are, and let them deal with it.

Give way to nothing; set your heart and face like flint.

Give way to nothing; set your heart and face like flint.

Give way to nothing; set your heart and face like flint.

Never offer a hollow greeting of peace, never turn away from someone who needs your love, always speak the truth from your heart.

Never offer a hollow greeting of peace, never turn away from someone who needs your love, always speak the truth from your heart.

Never offer a hollow greeting of peace, never turn away from someone who needs your love, always speak the truth from your heart.

Never do for others what they can do for themselves.  Never.  Only do that which has been asked for…after careful consideration.

Never do for others what they can do for themselves.  Never.  Only do that which has been asked for…after careful consideration.

Never do for others what they can do for themselves.  Never.  Only do that which has been asked for…after careful consideration.

Live and act from a place of either acceptance, enjoyment, or enthusiasm.

Live and act from a place of either acceptance, enjoyment, or enthusiasm.

Live and act from a place of either acceptance, enjoyment, or enthusiasm.

Be happy…all the time…without a reason in the world.

Be happy…all the time…without a reason in the world.

Be happy…all the time…without a reason in the world.

Behold, O Shepherd, Thy servant “acceptance-with-Joy,” “Bearing-the-Cost,” and “Self-controlled-by-Love.”  How happy it is to love…to be the fragrance of Love’s flower.”

Behold, O Shepherd, Thy servant “acceptance-with-Joy,” “Bearing-the-Cost,” and “Self-controlled-by-Love.”  How happy it is to love…to be the fragrance of Love’s flower.”

Behold, O Shepherd, Thy servant “acceptance-with-Joy,” “Bearing-the-Cost,” and “Self-controlled-by-Love.”  How happy it is to love…to be the fragrance of Love’s flower.”

Love does not consider not being loved in return that big of a deal.

Love does not consider not being loved in return that big of a deal.

Love does not consider not being loved in return that big of a deal.

Lord, in this moment, I invoke the four energies available to me.  I invoke the Warrior [You, Jesus], the Sensuous Lover [You, Jesus], the Magician/Sage [You, Jesus], and the Benevolent King [You, Jesus].  May I, in my spiritual core, be submitted to Your Lordship and to the energies You’ve given to help me in my life.  May all four energies, in their integrated fullness, be appropriated in my life to the fullest extent possible, may I be a good steward of all that You’ve given me, and may my life be a benefit to all within the realm of my influence and existence.

Lord, when confronted with my visional field of deadly snakes, if it is my destiny to cross, enable me to venture forth with courage, honor, openness, and humility.  May the night lights guide each step I take, and, as I’m bitten in the crossing, may I absorb that which each snake has to offer me.  Enable me to transmute the poison into that which gives life.

Accept, choose, and embrace what is and whatever arises with enlightened wisdom—that is, without judgment, without resistance, without attachment.  Welcome it with unconditional friendliness.  Forgive eagerly, completely, and freely all those who’ve hurt you in your life, and, in as much as it’s up to you, make your peace…with God, with everything, and with everyone—including yourself.  Cause no harm.  Deescalate your aggression (especially toward yourself and toward those you love and care about), and let go of all defensiveness.  Pay attention to your efforts to preserve who it is you think you are as well as your efforts to hold on to that which you think is yours. Recognize, also, when you’re beginning to engage in abusive or discursive self-talk, and, in those moments, be kind to yourself, engage your wisdom mind, surround and rise above your thoughts, and make peace in and with the present moment by keeping an open heart and by not shutting down.  Breathe in the sufferings of others, and die again and again and again with each outbreath.  Be a conduit of God’s loving-kindness, joy, compassion, and equanimity.  Slow down, pay attention to your surroundings, acknowledge what’s happening and what’s being “put out there,” and, with uplifted head and shoulders, be who you are, and be mindful in every act.  Side-step attacks (if at all possible), absorb direct blows like water, and, when the storms come (and they will come), be like the willow, and bend with the breeze, looking to God and remembering that, as with everything, “this, too, shall pass.”  Practice.  Practice everything…practice all the time…even when you’re distracted, discouraged, tired, or just don’t feel like it.  Discover the wisdom of “no escape”—that is, of staying on the spot, leaning in to the sharp things, and making friends with your hopes and your fears.  Go to the places that scare you, relax into your own groundlessness, hold nothing back, and be happy…all the time…without a reason in the world.

A warrior practices everything.  He relinquishes his pride, he lays down his efforts to orchestrate his life, he cleans up his habits, he lets go of attachments, he becomes increasingly mindful of his emotional states and of his connection to all things, and he takes responsibility for his thoughts, feelings, and actions (and nothing more than that).  A warrior allows life to express itself through him in whatever forms it might take. He uses his mind and his body in ways few people have the courage to.  He meditates in every action.  He neither seeks nor runs from pain or adversity; when it comes, he embraces it and uses it to purify his soul.  A warrior keeps death and his life’s purposes in the forefront of his mind.  He’s genuine, authentically present, and open…to life, to God, and to those around him.  A warrior is infinitely happy, he’s at peace with himself, he’s frugal—yet exceptionally generous, he’s a gentle and approachable soul—yet extremely dangerous.  A warrior enjoys the simple pleasures of his own company as well as that of others, he smiles at death and laughs at himself, and he does what he loves.  Above all else, a warrior is a servant, a humble servant…dedicated not just to a great cause, but to all humanity, to God, and, at times, even to himself.  A warrior fights for what he believes in and, when required, lays his life down gladly in the defense of those beliefs.

Today is a GREAT day...to live and to die.  And should today be my last, I know this:  And that is, that my spirit will live on forever in the presence of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, Who lived, died, and rose again, eternally reconciling me with Himself and proving Himself to be Whom He said He was—the Only begotten Son of the Living God, through Whom all things were made and brought into being.  He is the Light of the world, my Life, and my Salvation, and in Him, I live and move and have my very being.  Because of Him, I am a new creature today.  Behold, all things have become new, and my heart is filled with such gratefulness.

Behold, I bear a new name…

My name is Jonathan-David,

Gift and Friend of God,

Tender-hearted Warrior,

Catcher of Tears and Lifter of Hearts,

Beloved Lionheart of God,

Loyal Servant of the Good Shepherd,

Samurai of the Most High.

I was fashioned and trained by God in the outback of creation.  Beware…for my spirit is fierce.  I will not run; I will not back down.  In Christ, I will make my stand.  I am a being, who also happens to be human, and I will create the dream of my life one step at a time.  I will live according to my own reality, my own intuition, and my own internal compass.  I will remember who I am, Whose I am, and from where I came.  In my heart, true paradise is found, and my greatest happiness is experienced in choosing and surrendering to “what is”—without judgment, without resistance, without attachment.  I will treat everyone I meet with the utmost kindness, respect, dignity, and compassion, and I will consider my service, both to God and to others, to be my highest purpose and calling in life.  I will live and demonstrate the principles of self-respect and consideration for others; I will stand up for myself while supporting others at the same time.  I will extend and give of myself courageously and unashamedly, express myself openly and honestly, and share “my song” with all who wish to listen.

Behold, I bear a new name…

My name is Jonathan-David,

Gift and Friend of God,

Tender-hearted Warrior,

Catcher of Tears and Lifter of Hearts,

Beloved Lionheart of God,

Loyal Servant of the Good Shepherd,

Samurai of the Most High.

I was fashioned and trained by God in the outback of creation.  Beware…for my spirit is fierce.  I will not run; I will not back down.  In Christ, I will make my stand.

Lord, may my life-song sing to You.

Father…today is the first day of the rest of my life.  I want to make You my heart’s desire, and I want to pursue You like I never have before.  Help me, Lord, to do these very things.

My soul glorifies the Lord; my spirit rejoices in God my Savior.

My soul glorifies the Lord; my spirit rejoices in God my Savior.

My soul glorifies the Lord; my spirit rejoices in God my Savior.

Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty, Who Was and Is and Is to come.

Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty, Who Was and Is and Is to come.

Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty, Who Was and Is and Is to come.

For Thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory forever and ever.  Amen.

"A Father's Love Letter"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Edl-2HUZYSQ&feature=related

Many years ago, my Dad gave me a written copy of the letter read in the above link.  I still have what he gave me.  If you get a chance, today, open the above link and give it a listen/watch.  I think the piece is just fabulous.

In this post, I wish to offer my grateful expressions to my Father for my Dad.  While my Dad is not a perfect man, He has striven my whole life to love me as my Heavenly Father loves me, and I am so very grateful for that.  In my Dad, I have seen the very Heart of my Father, and it has made a huge difference, perhaps all the difference, in my life.

On this Valentine's Day...

...I wish to express my sincere gratefulness to my Heavenly Father--my Abba Daddy--for the love He has demonstrated to me over the course of my entire life.  I love you, Father.  Thank you for sending Jesus so that You and I can be together forever.  And thank you also, for giving me my Dad and for placing Your very Heart within him.

...And to my earthly Dad...Thank you, Dad, for all that you are in life and for all that you have been to me personally.  I am and have been so glad to have you as my Dad, and I am so glad that we both know Jesus.  May God's richest blessings be poured out upon you in such abundance on this day...and all days henceforth.  I will love you always.

Love,

Your son, Dave

"In Pursuit of Valentine's Day"

What about your current circumstances do you find difficult or exceedingly painful?

If your answer is, “I don’t know," or "Nothing, I guess,” might I suggest that you check your pulse?  Because you're either asleep or, perhaps, care so little about much of anything that you might—well, maybe I'll just let you complete that one for yourself!  Anyway...to hurt is to feel, to feel is to care, and to care is to live.  The whole of life includes significant difficulty, edginess, and pain.  This cannot be avoided.

I, for one, have quite a number of things in my life, right now, that are difficult to stomach.  Things that make me wretch inside or that just boil my blood.  And some that produce both reactions.

Then there are those things that I so want and long for, but do not yet have—and may never have.  They are the unfulfilled longings of my heart.  We all have them, don’t we?  They are an integral part of living life as a human being.  To be alive is to want, and to want is to ache, and to ache is to die inside, at times, when who we are and what we want don’t seem to connect.  In this, I am speaking more about relationships than anything else because everything else seems to pale so anemically in comparison.

Who hasn’t longed to be with that “special person” in your life?  That ONE who has so captivated your heart and imagination that you can no longer remember when you didn’t feel the way you feel about her or him.  I’ve been in that place many times.  So many times, in fact, that, now, when I pursue that ONE, I go about things with a much greater hands off approach than I did when I was, say, in my twenties.  I may or may not win her heart.  And that is okay.  As painful as it might be, my happiness is NOT contingent on winning her heart, no matter how much I might long to be with her.  Win her or win her not, I will be happy, and my life will work out irrespective of the results of the chase.

It is an absolute given in my life that I will not end up “with” the one I want 100% of the time.  That is reality.  Statistically speaking, I have probably been attracted to close to a hundred girls/women over the course of my life; maybe 50% of them are or were friends of mine at some point; for maybe 30 or 40 of them, I experienced significant feelings; with a few, I spent significant private time; three I dated seriously; and one I married.  The one I married, I was married to for almost 11 years until her death almost 9 years ago.  So, with statistics like that, the ONE that I may want in this moment may not end up being the one that I win or end up “with” in the end.  Again, THAT is reality.

And yet, for the ONE I want "now," I will risk everything in my pursuit of her, for—you know?—she just might become THE ONE!  And how cool would that be?!!  A really cool thing that I'm discovering, too, is that this whole process of courting love—of longing for someone abstractly, of then finally seeing such a one come into physical view, of wanting her, of pursuing her, of spending time with her, of fighting for her, of winning her or not winning her—is all such a very wonderful and unique and life-enhancing dance, don't you think?  I am so grateful to feel what I feel:  the longing to be with someone, the deep desire to give of myself wholly and completely to that person, wondering how she feels or will feel some day, fantasizing about defending her against a dragon and then sweeping her off her feet, experiencing the ecstasy of the connection I feel, and then, twenty minutes later, experiencing the horrifying agony of discovering that she may not have experienced the same feelings I felt.  All of this—ALL of it—is a part of what it means to be human...to be alive and capable of loving, of taking risks, of putting myself out on the line, and then taking, absorbing, and, even, embracing whatever comes of it.

So…you long to be with a particular someone.  I do, too.

You may or may not end up with him or her.  I may not end up with her, either.

But you just might.  I just might, too!

Either way, you will feel something.  And so will I.

Does it feel worth it to you?  It does to me.

Have you been hurt in the past?  I certainly have.

Are you willing to take the risk yet again?  I sure am.

If you’re willing, why don’t we, in some way, do it together?  What do you think?  Are you game?  If so, see my plan, below, and if you wish to do something similar, feel free to jump right in, my friend, for I can be good company in such things.  BTW...I know from personal experience that jumping in and holding nothing back will result in a life well-lived with very little regret...irrespective of—no, despite—the results.

What I’m going to do…

I’m going to love the one I want, whether she loves me back or not…for Love does not consider not being loved in return all that big of a deal.  In fact, Love just loves for the sake of...well, loving the beloved.

I’m going to be me and no one else.

I’m going to make myself available and be there—and I mean BE THERE…fully and completely...to listen, to see, to feel, to touch, and to be touched.

I’m going to open myself up to the possibility of being hurt very deeply.

I’m going to let myself feel whatever I feel, and I’m going to be grateful that I’ve been given this marvelous endowment of being able to feel.

I’m going to embrace all of it:  the ecstasy, the agony—all of it.

I’m going to pursue the one I want with everything that’s within me, and yet I’m going to respect her and her person hood and her wishes and her space and her time and her thoughts and her feelings and her desires and her dreams and her hurts and her family and her friends and her reservations about me to the fullest extent possible.

I'm going to pray for her like I've never prayed for anyone else before, and I'm going to strive to lead her to the Feet of Jesus in everything...even that which might seem trivial.

I'm going to preserve her purity and dignity—at all cost.

And I’m going to place my entire pursuit of the one I want into the Hands of my Father, for He alone knows what’s best for me AND for her.

Someone asked me, recently, “Dave...how will you know if you’re in love with someone?”  My answer was quite simple:  “When everything within me wants so much to be with her and to give of myself to her, but an even greater part of me wants her to experience God’s absolute best for her…even if that takes her away from me—completely and forever.”

So be it in all of this, Father.  I’m just so exquisitely grateful to be alive.  And to feel.

Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone.

Bling

PS  So what happens if I don't win her heart?  Great question.  And here's my answer:  I will be just fine, and, to quote Kathleen Kelley in You've Got Mail, I will continue to hold on to "the dream" of that One who's out there...just waiting for me.  Peace.