"What if...?"

How many times have you asked that question?

I lost track after the first time I ran out of fingers and toes.

Recently, though, I’ve been wondering about a particular “What if…?”.  And what I’d like to do in this post is explore one particular aspect of it, if you don’t mind.

But first, I need to set the stage…

And to do that, we need to go allllllll the way back to the beginning.  And, I mean, THE beginning…

“In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.”  (Genesis 1:1)

“The God said, ‘Let us make man in Our Image, in Our Likeness…’”  (Genesis 1:26a)

“So God created man in His Own Image, in the Image of God He created him, male and female He created them.”  (Genesis 1:27)

“Now the Lord God had planted a garden in the east, in Eden; and there He put the man He had formed.  And the Lord God made all kinds of trees grow out of the ground—trees that were pleasing to the eye and good for food.  In the middle of the garden were the tree of life and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.”  (Genesis 2:8-9)

“The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it.  And the Lord God commanded the man, ‘You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil for when you eat of it you will surely die.’”  (Genesis 2:15-17)

“The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone.  I will make a helper  suitable for him.’”  (Genesis 2:18)

Note:  Actually, the word "helper" used in Genesis 2:18 is, more accurately, translated as "life-giver" or "life-saver;" everywhere else in scripture where this word is used, it is used to refer to God Himself, and I find that exceedingly interesting.

“So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, He took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh.  Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib He had taken out of the man, and He brought her to the man.  Then the man said, ‘This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman, for she was taken out of man.’”  (Genesis 2:21-24)

Note:  I don't like the above translation of Genesis 2:24.  It feels so anemic.  I think Adam's response is more adequately translated, "This is it!!"  I mean, come on, what man, at the sight of Eve in all her fullness, would respond in such a subdued fashion?

“Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made.  He said to the woman, ‘Did God really say, You must not eat from any tree in the garden?’  The woman said to the serpent, ‘We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’  ‘You will not surely die,’ the serpent said to the woman.  ‘For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.’  When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it.  She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.”  (Genesis 3:1-6)

What if…?

In a future post, I would like to explore the whole question of what would have been the result if Adam and Eve had not fallen in Genesis 3?  Would we have been better off than we are now?  Or are we better off now for having fallen and experienced the redemption of God through the Blood of Jesus?

But that’s not what I want to explore here.

Okay, Dave…we’ve been waiting for some time now to discover your “What if…?” question.  So...what is it?

As you wish.  So…without further adieu…here’s my question:  “What if...Adam had chosen not to eat the fruit but had, instead, come to Eve’s rescue and redemption?”

Have you ever wondered about that?  I do ALL the time.  The reason I do is because, in some ways, I wonder if that was the original plan.  As men, all of us have been created with an inborn desire (even destiny) to lay our lives down for our wives.  God’s command to us in Ephesians 5 is, I believe, written into the very cells of our bodies.  Here’s the command:  “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the Word, and to present her to Himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.”  (Ephesians 5:25-29)

Now…please don’t get upset with me when I do what I’m about to do, okay?  Please know that I do not think that what I am about to do in any way adds to or modifies or changes scripture.  This is a short fantasy, if you will, of what I think might have happened had Adam done what I believe he was really created to do.

…

A Different Narrative…

“You won’t die, Eve,” Lucifer, the Great Serpent, said to her with a sly twinkle in his eye.  “He’s just afraid of the competition.  For, you see, that’s how he became a god himself a long, long time ago…if you really want to call him that.  Most of us just call him 'El Shaddai,' 'The Large Breasted One.'  Anyway, he’s been trying to wipe out the rest of us for some time, now.  And, unfortunately for him, it would seem, he’s had very little success.

“I think, to help him feel a little better about himself, he created you and Adam so that he could rule over you and have an audience of lesser beings to overwhelm with his GREAT AND MIGHTY POWER.  A power which A LOT of us have, too, I might add.  So…don’t be afraid, Eve, you’ll be just fine.  In fact, you’ll finally become a lot more like him and the rest of us…wise beyond your years and able to create good and to recognize the true evils of repression and inappropriate limitations.  Consider this a stepping stone to the reaching of your full potential.  This is the way it’s always been.”

Pulling a piece of fruit from the tree, Lucifer gazed intently at it and then took a long, sensuous, mouthwatering bite.  Exhaling a deep satisfaction and then looking back at Eve, he smiled and said softly, “Ahhh…exquisite…truly exquisite, my dear.  You should have some yourself.”

Eve looked away from the Great Serpent and eyed the fruit.  It did look good, after all, and how nice it would be to be so wise, she thought to herself.  All the while, Lucifer continued to gaze at her, focusing intently upon her form.  For to him, she looked good, too.  It had been a long time, he thought to himself.  How nice it would be to have her fruit someday.   Patience, he told himself.

Walking up to the tree, Eve reached up and pulled a particularly bright clump off and held it in her hands.  Almost immediately, the aroma filled her nostrils, and her whole body shuddered—again to the voyeuristic delight of Lucifer.  “Enjoy it, my lovely one,” he whispered.  Eve blushed momentarily and, with a smile, looked back at Lucifer as she bit into the fruit.

A couple hours later, Adam, who was unaware of what had transpired, finished his work for the day and headed back east toward the home he and Eve had created a few months before.  Upon arriving, he noticed Eve sitting off to herself, eating something and just staring off into the distance somewhere.  Walking up to her, he placed a hand on her shoulder.   

“Eve…”

“Adam!” Eve exclaimed, turning to look at him.  “Try this.  It’s fabulous, just fabulous...actually, no, it's more than that.  It is, in fact, quite exquisite!”

Adam reached down and took some of what Eve had been eating.  Looking at it closer, he recognized what it was almost immediately.  And then he realized what his wife had done.  She’d eaten that which God had commanded them not to eat.

“Eve,” he said, “Oh, no…you’ve eaten what’s been forbidden.”

Looking up at him, and with a bit of a smirk, Eve said, “What are you talking about?  Look, I ate it, and I’m just fine.  He lied to us, Adam.  He lied to us both.  Just like the Great Serpent said.”

“When did you talk with Lucifer?  You know what I’ve told you about him.  He’s an evil creature, Eve.  Don’t you remember how he tried to kill me once?”

“He didn’t mean for that to happen, Adam.  He told me that himself.”

“What?  When?  How long have you been talking with him?”

“Only since this morning.  He’s really not a bad creature, Adam.  And he was right, I didn’t die.”

Adam sat down in front of his wife and asked, “Why didn’t you tell me earlier that you spoke with him this morning?”

Eve pretended not to hear Adam and stood to her feet.  “I’m feeling cold,” she said.  Adam stood, walked over to his wife and put his arms around her.  “It’s going to be okay.  It’s going to be okay,” he said to her—and to himself.  He could feel his wife shivering in his arms.  It's going to be okay, he told himself again.  "Let’s go get you warmed up, and then we’ll figure out what we need to do.”

By this time, Eve was really beginning to feel some things she’d never felt before.  Yes, she was feeling cold, but it was more than that.  It was the feeling of exposure.  And of deep aloneness.  Two things she hadn’t felt before, and she wasn’t quite sure what it all meant.

Eve continued to walk in the arms of her husband, who was gently urging and guiding her back to their little home.  Inside the hut, Adam helped her to their place of rest and proceeded to lay down with her and to hold her in his arms.  In his heart, he was distraught, and his mind was just whirling with conflicting thoughts.  “God, what would you have me to do?” he said within the privacy of his soul.

When your wife’s asleep, come talk with me by the old tree at the cooling place.

“Okay,” he thought.  "I’ll be there.”

For the next few minutes or so, Adam just laid there holding Eve and listening to her as she breathed in and out.  He wanted to be a comfort to her, but he wasn’t quite sure what she needed.  All of this was definitely new territory for him.  After a little while, he decided that just being with her until she fell asleep was what was needed.  And so that’s what he did.

What happened, Adam? God asked a couple of hours later.

“Eve ate from the tree, my Lord.  She ate what you forbade us to eat.”

God bowed His Head.  I know, my friend.  I saw it long ago.

“What’s going to happen to her?  Is she going to die?  I don’t want to lose her, Lord.  I love her so much.  I don’t think I could bear that.”

She’s already dead. Adam.  It happened the very moment she ate from the tree.  The Glory has departed, and she is now beginning to feel the deterioration within her very being.  I am sorry, Adam, but she will never be the same.  I am so sorry.

“What does that mean?  What do You mean she’s dead?”

She died in her sins, today, my friend.  Died to Me.  Died to herself.  Died to you.  Died to the Intimately Communal Life with you and with Me that I gave her.  I am so very sorry.

“What can I do?  Is there anything I can do?  Just tell me, and I will do it.  I don’t want to lose her, Lord.  I want her back, Lord.  I want my Eve.  I need my Eve.”

God nodded His Head, and, with a tear in His Eye, smiled at Adam with such compassion.  I know, my friend.  I know.  I have a plan.  But it’s going to require you to give up everything you have.  And I do mean EVERYTHING.  Are you willing to do that?

Adam thought, but only for a moment.  “I am!” he said.  “Please tell me what I need to do to rescue my Eve.  To win her back from the dead.”

You must die in her place, Adam.  Experience the very separation she is experiencing now.  You must pay with your own life the penalty of her sin, which is death.  Are you willing to do that?

“I don’t understand, God.  I want to be with her…and with You.  And I want to do whatever I can to bring that about.  But…if I’m dead, how can I be with her and with You?”

What if I told you that what you’ve had until now you can never have again?  And that what I’m suggesting will result in her being restored to a place of communion with me, but that you and she will be separated?  And that you and I will be separated, too?

“This is more than I can bear, Lord.  Are you saying that, if I die in her place, she will be reconciled to you, but I will remain separated from You and from her?”

That’s what I’m asking if you’re willing to do, Adam.

Adam shrunk to his knees.  “I don’t know, Lord.  I can’t bear the thought of being separated from You.  Or from her.  But I can’t bear the thought of her being dead and separated from You.  We need You, God.  Without You, nothing makes any sense…nothing works.  I know this full well.  I guess, either way, she and I will be separated from each other.  In her death, she remains separated from You, but if I die in her place, I will be separated from You, but she will be restored to You.”

Are you willing to do such a thing, my friend?

Adam thought for a few moments and then came to a decision.  And it was the only decision for him.  “Yes,” he said, looking up at his Master.  “I love her, God.  More than I love my own soul.  I love her so much that I cannot bear the thought of her being separated from You.  So, yes, I will die in her place.  I will take her penalty.  But please do one thing for me, okay Lord?  Please take good care of her, okay?  And please tell her that I love her, that I have always loved her, and that I will always love her.”

THAT I will, my friend.  You can count on that.  So…are you ready?

“I am.”

And I AM, too, Adam.

To be continued….

"The Purpose of Life"

Without authentic presence, wholeness as a person is essentially unreachable.  To become who we are, we must awaken to the life God has given us.  We must acknowledge our sleepiness and ask God to revive us.

The purpose of life is simple:  to live.  Just as the purpose of dancing is the dancing itself, so also the purpose of life is the living of it.  Jesus, quite radically, spoke of the dead as “the sleeping” and announced that He had come to give us life.  Not just life in terms of the presence of active biological processes (e.g., respiration, ingestion, and elimination), but life abundant:  life that’s ever growing, ever moving, ever expanding, ever changing; life that’s been quickened—or awakened—to the Presence of Almighty God, Who is in and above all we can see or imagine; life that’s been awakened to ourselves—to those extraordinarily ordinary people who reside within us; and life that’s been awakened to the people all around us.

When asked which was the greatest commandment, Jesus said:  “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength, and love your neighbor as you love yourself.”  I think Jesus intended these thoughts to be viewed as one complete whole.  To love my neighbor is to love God; to love God is to love myself; to love myself is to love my neighbor; one aspect does not exist in its truest or fullest sense without the other two.  These three streams of wakefulness flow together to form a mighty river of radiant, life-giving energy.  Imagine the difference one fully awakened individual could make in our troubled world.  Look at the difference Jesus made:  He loved God, He loved Himself, and He loved others, and the world has never been the same.  May we be, go, and do likewise.

Alive in Him and living for His glory,

Bling

"Evensong: Short Sword (25 Meditations for the Warrior-in-Training)"

This is a string of prayers, meditations, and slogans that I practice in the presence of God each evening.  Most of the time, I pray through it while I'm driving home from work at the end of each day.  Take what's useful to you, make it uniquely your own, and discard the rest.

Peace out, y'all.  I hope you have a great weekend!

Bling



(1)
Inspired by the Writings of Dan Millman

Honor The House Rules:
Rule 1: Life is paradox—make peace with this fact.
Rule 2: Humor is your greatest weapon—use it as often as you can.  In life, play the Humorous Old Fool and, in time, the Baboon of All Things Serious and the Jackass of Discontent, Insensitivity, and Rigid Dogmaticism will cease to exist.
Rule 3: Nothing stays the same; everything changes.  Learn to recognize change as it’s happening, and don’t resist it.  When the winds of change blow, be like the willow, and bend with the breeze.


(2)

Accept, choose, and embrace what is and whatever arises with enlightened wisdom—that is, without judgment, without resistance, without attachment.  Welcome it with unconditional friendliness.  Forgive eagerly, completely, and freely all those who’ve hurt you in your life, and, in as much as it’s up to you, make your peace…with God, with everything, and with everyone—including yourself.  Cause no harm.  Deescalate your aggression (especially toward yourself and toward those you love and care about), and let go of all defensiveness.  Pay attention to your efforts to preserve who it is you think you are as well as your efforts to hold on to that which you think is yours.  Recognize, also, when you’re beginning to engage in abusive or discursive self-talk, and, in those moments, be kind to yourself, engage your wisdom mind, surround and rise above your thoughts, and make peace in and with the present moment by keeping an open heart and by not shutting down.  Breathe in the sufferings of others, and die again and again and again with each outbreath. Be a conduit of God's loving-kindness, joy, compassion, and equanimity.  Slow down, pay attention to your surroundings, acknowledge what’s happening and what’s being “put out there,” and, with uplifted head and shoulders, be who you are, and be mindful in every act.  Side-step attacks (if at all possible), absorb direct blows like water, and, when the storms come (and they will come), be like the willow, and bend with the breeze, looking to God and remembering that, as with everything, “this, too, shall pass.”  Practice.  Practice everything…practice all the time…even when you’re distracted, discouraged, tired, or just don’t feel like it. Discover the wisdom of “no escape”—that is, of staying on the spot, leaning in to the sharp things, and making friends with your hopes and your fears.  Go to the places that scare you, relax into your own groundlessness, hold nothing back, and be happy…all the time…without a reason in the world.
…
No judgments…no resistance…no attachments.
No judgments…no resistance…no attachments.
No judgments…no resistance…no attachments.
…
No complaints, no criticisms, no tantrums.
No complaints, no criticisms, no tantrums.
No complaints, no criticisms, no tantrums.
…
No bitterness, no pettiness, no resentment.
No bitterness, no pettiness, no resentment.
No bitterness, no pettiness, no resentment.
…
No lies—none! Life and death are in the power of the tongue.  Speak the truth in love.
No lies—none!  Life and death are in the power of the tongue.  Speak the truth in love.
No lies—none!  Life and death are in the power of the tongue.  Speak the truth in love.
…
Never do for others what they can do for themselves.  Never.  Only do that which has been asked for...after careful consideration.
Never do for others what they can do for themselves.  Never.  Only do that which has been asked for...after careful consideration.
Never do for others what they can do for themselves.  Never.  Only do that which has been asked for...after careful consideration.
…
Live and act from a place of either acceptance, enjoyment, or enthusiasm.
Live and act from a place of either acceptance, enjoyment, or enthusiasm.
Live and act from a place of either acceptance, enjoyment, or enthusiasm.
…
Be happy…all the time…without a reason in the world.
Be happy…all the time…without a reason in the world.
Be happy…all the time…without a reason in the world.


(3)

A warrior practices everything. He relinquishes his pride, he lays down his efforts to orchestrate his life, he cleans up his habits, he lets go of attachments, he becomes increasingly mindful of his emotional states and of his connection to all things, and he takes responsibility for his thoughts, feelings, and actions (and nothing more than that).  A warrior allows life to express itself through him in whatever forms it might take.  He uses his mind and his body in ways few people have the courage to.  He meditates in every action.  He neither seeks nor runs from pain or adversity; when it comes, he embraces it and uses it to purify his soul.  A warrior keeps death and his life’s purposes in the forefront of his mind.  He’s genuine, authentically present, and open…to life, to God, and to those around him.  A warrior is infinitely happy, he’s at peace with himself, he’s frugal—yet exceptionally generous, he’s a gentle and approachable soul—yet extremely dangerous.  A warrior enjoys the simple pleasures of his own company as well as that of others, he smiles at death and laughs at himself, and he does what he loves.  Above all else, a warrior is a servant, a humble servant…dedicated not just to a great cause, but to all humanity, to God, and, at times, even to himself.  A warrior fights for what he believes in and, when required, lays his life down gladly in the defense of those beliefs.


(4)

You may do unto me that which causes you no harm.


(5)

You are forgiven—even before you act.


(6)

Jesus loves me, this I know.
For the Bible tells me so.
Little ones to Him belong.
They are week, but He is strong.
Yes, Jesus loves me.
Yes, Jesus loves me.
Yes, Jesus loves me.
The Bible tells me so.


(7)

In Him, I live and move and have my very being. Because of Him, I am a new creature today.  Behold, all things have become new, and my heart is filled with such gratefulness.


(8)

“And lo I am (and will be) with you always,” says He, “even unto the very ends of the earth.”


(9)
Inspired by the Writings of Richard Marcinko

The more thou sweatest in training, the less thou bleedest in battle.


(10)
Inspired by the Writings of Richard Marcinko

If thou hurtist in thine efforts and thou suffer painful dings, than thou art, most likely, doing it right.


(11)
Inspired by the Writings of Richard Marcinko

Sometimes, one hast not to like it, one just has to do it.


(12)
Inspired by the Writings of Richard Marcinko

If, in your training, you’re not pushing yourself to the point of risking death, you’re probably just going through the motions.


(13)
Inspired by the Writings of Richard Marcinko

Lead from the front, not the rear. Be easy to find…at the center of the battle.


(14)
Inspired by the Writings of Richard Marcinko

Attack the tasks you hate with greater zest than the tasks you love.


(15)

Strive for elegant simplicity, economy of effort and energy, and fluidity of thought, feeling, and action.


(16)

Be out of the box…uncomplicated…unconventional.


(17)

Remember that, more often than not, real talent usually needs only the simplest of tools to accomplish its work.


(18)

Dedicate your body as a living sacrifice unto the Lord God Almighty.


(19)

Hakuna Matada…No worries.


(20)

No mind.


(21)
Inspired by the Writings of Dan Millman

Empty your mind, Dave. Let it all go, and stay here…conscious and present…devoted 100% to the experience you’re having right now.  Because “right now” is all you have. There is nothing else.

Take out the trash, Dave. The trash is anything that's keeping you from the only thing that matters…THIS MOMENT…HERE…NOW.  And when you truly are in the here and now, you’ll be amazed at what you can do and at how well you can do it.

I call myself a warrior, Dave…a gentle and peaceful warrior…because the battles I fight are on the inside…the battle for peace…the battle to be happy…the battle to live and be in the here and now. Be happy, Dave…all the time…without a reason in the world.

(22)

Here I am, Lord, ready to do Your will.
I am and will always be Your servant and friend.
With all my heart, Lord, I want to know You, and I want to be and do all that You ask of me.
May Your will be done in and through me just as it’s already being done in heaven.

(23)

Have mercy on me and forgive me, Lord, all my sins.
Cleanse the thoughts of my heart, and wash me in Your Blood.
Have mercy on me and forgive me, Lord, all my sins.
Cleanse the thoughts of my heart, and wash me in Your Blood.
Have mercy on me and forgive me, Lord, all my sins.
Cleanse the thoughts of my heart, and wash me in Your Blood.

(24)

Lord Jesus Christ, Immanuel, Son of the Living God, have mercy on me, a redeemed sinner.
Lord Jesus Christ, Immanuel, Son of the Living God, have mercy on me, a redeemed sinner.
Lord Jesus Christ, Immanuel, Son of the Living God, have mercy on me, a redeemed sinner.
Lord Jesus Christ, Immanuel, Lamb of God, Who takes away the sin of the world, grant me Your peace.
Lord, I am not worthy to receive You; only speak the Word, and I shall be healed.

Not my will, but Thine.  Into Your Hands I commit my spirit.
Not my will, but Thine.  Into Your Hands I commit my spirit.
Not my will, but Thine.  Into Your Hands I commit my spirit.

(25)
Inspired by the Writings of Dan Millman

Where are you, Dave? HERE.
What time is it? NOW.
What are you? THIS MOMENT.

"Snakes in the Grass"

About five years ago, I had a very vivid dream...

In my dream, it's pitch black outside (even though there's a full moon in the sky), and I'm standing before a very large, open field.  Something within is telling me that I need to cross to the other side.  Why, I don't know; all I know is that I'm supposed to cross.  But there's a problem…

…the field I’m standing in front of is teaming with a host of deadly snakes.  Since I cannot see them, I linger at the edge of the field wondering anxiously how I’m going to get across.  Looking down, I notice that I have a can of orange fluorescent spray paint in my right hand.  I tell myself that if I can just paint the snakes I’ll be able to see them well enough to cross unharmed.  To do this, though, would require me to place myself within striking distance of each snake, which is something that I cannot do.  So…I just stand there, lingering at the edge of the field, with this dilemma:  I must cross, but I cannot do so safely because it’s too dark to see the dangers I know are there.

Interpretation...

The field represents my destiny...that which I need to walk in--NOW.

The moon represents the guidance of the Holy Spirit...directly and indirectly through those around me.  The fact that there's a full moon and that it's still pitch black out points to the spiritual, rather than physical, nature of the guidance I need.  I must "see" with the eyes of my spirit...even though my physical eyes may be unable to see a thing.

The snakes represent the dangers of my life and mission.  I know they're there and that they're many, but I cannot see all of them.  Nor can I avoid them.  If I cross the field, I will be bitten--guaranteed.

The orange paint represents my own "natural" ways of trying to cheat death and to engineer myself out of difficult, messy, or nasty situations.

The poison represent the many ways in which the enemy wishes to harm me.  I feel, though, that it's God's intention and desire to turn that which is meant to harm me into that which gives life.  Through the power of His Spirit, the poison that kills can become the medicine that heals.

My Daily Prayer response...

Lord, when confronted with my visional field of deadly snakes, if it is my destiny to cross, enable me to venture forth with courage, honor, openness, and humility.  May the night lights guide each step I take, and, as I’m bitten in the crossing, may I absorb that which each snake has to offer me.  Enable me to transmute the poison into that which gives life.

"Abandonment"

The things I write of below are difficult to speak of, let alone, live through.  Unfortunately, all of us have, at some point in our lives, experienced abandonment to one degree or another.  As reluctant as I might feel in this moment to talk about such an extremely difficult and troubling topic, I cannot but do that which I feel compelled to do.  In operating this blog, it has been my commitment from the start to speak to you from my heart and to write from the cutting edge of my own life.  It is my hope that, in the few words I write below, some eyes will be opened to the reality of what one or more of you may be experiencing in this very moment.

To abandon (definition):  to forsake completely; to desert; to leave behind.

Abandonment is multifaceted.

There’s the overt form, which is, characteristically, a habitual leaving, rejecting, starving, or discarding of another.  I would surmise that when most people think or talk about abandonment, it's probably about this form.

Then there’s the covert form, which is, characteristically, a habitual squelching, snuffing out, or robbing of another.  Abusive personalities often engage in covert abandonment through violent behavior (be it, physical, verbal, emotional, or spiritual) and aggressive sexual conquest.  There are non-abusive forms of covert abandonment, such as obsequious "care taking," playing the "whoa-is-me" drama queen (or king!), low-functioning borderline acting-out, and other forms of excessive neediness.

Most of the literature out there on the subject of “abandonment” does not, in my opinion, deal with the FACT that abandonment is not just about leaving another but also about stealing from another.  Take a quarter for instance.  A quarter has two sides…a heads side and a tails side.  It matters not which side you look at…so long as you’re looking at one side, you’re looking at a quarter.  Whether it’s “being left” or “being swallowed whole,” both are abandoning acts.

I also believe that the literature focuses almost exclusively on the notion of how one person abandons or is abandoned by another.  The problem with this is that a whole other arena of abandonment remains unvoiced, namely, one's abandonment of one's own self.   And, again, I am talking about a habitual pattern of such behavior.

All of this, my friends, is very much a spiritual problem, and it must be confronted spiritually.

Some examples of person-to-person abandonment...

Your wife says she never loved you nor even liked you, and, it seems, her actions demonstrated this throughout most (if not all) your marriage.  And yet, for the sake of material comfort or some other reason (for example, societal pressure, guilt, or an overabundance of obligation), she continued to "play the part (sort of)" and stayed married to you.  That is, in my opinion, a “habitual leaving” of you.  She was “always there,” and yet never really was.  Such a thing is extremely hurtful, if not downright cruel.  To live with someone who is completely unavailable emotionally has got to be one of the loneliest places on earth.

Your husband was very sexual with you yet unloving.  That is, in my opinion, a “habitual engulfing” of you.  I just cannot see it as anything other than stealing from you…repeatedly.  Overshadowing who you are (or were) with his own base cravings.  He didn’t love you, yet he pursued that which is the most intensely intimate and personal fruits of love.  Again, such things are absolutely horrible and devastating.  A four letter word that begins with "R" and rhymes with "tape" come to my mind.

Some examples of how one can abandon oneself...

Habitually turning away from discomfort or exiting situations which feel troublesome.  Running to addictions to anesthetize emotional pain or discomfort.  Not standing up for oneself.  Not protecting oneself.  Procrastinating.  Starving oneself.  Withholding from oneself (motivated by a false sense of guilt) that which one needs or really desires in one's heart.  All are examples of rejecting one's sense of self.

Habitually engaging in discursive or abusive self-talk.  Expressing hatred toward oneself.  Binge eating.  Excessive alcohol consumption.  Acting-out sexually.  All are examples of engulfing oneself...overshadowing oneself...stealing from oneself.

Overtly covert; covertly overt...

Even though I’ve separated out engulfment from rejection…the two really can be interchanged in many ways.  Each action above could fall into both camps.  That’s the multifaceted dynamic of abandonment.  I would say that in many instances abandonment looks a lot more like a soccer ball, in that it has many “sides,” with each side being just as much a part of the ball as any other side.  And, in many instances, indistinguishable from any other side with the exception of, perhaps, the color.  Someone can also abandon oneself by putting himself or herself into a situation where another can do the abandoning by proxy.  Sort of like letting someone else do your own dirty work for you (and it is dirty work).  Inside though, in your core, you know.

These are just some of my thoughts on this whole issue.  I do not know if any of this will even be at all helpful, but I feel compelled to share these things with you.

If you are going through any of the above, I recommend that you pursue help immediately.  Talk to a pastor, talk with a therapist, tell a close friend.  These things need to be brought out into the open.  Help is on the way--it always is--but you must reach out and grab it.

God bless all of you--especially, those of you suffering through these things.  My heart goes out to you.

Dave

"My Covenant of Purity"

“I have made a covenant with mine eyes to never again look upon another woman lustfully.”  (Job 31:1)

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.”  (Ephesians 5:25)

“For God is at work within you both to will and to do His good pleasure.”  (Philippians 2:13)

Lord, I wish to be pure and to preserve holy purity in my life.  Provided below, is my covenant with You regarding my relational and sexual purity:

I covenant with You, Lord, that You are my First Love.  Even if I am blessed to remarry, someday, You will forever remain my First Love.  You are my Life Partner, Jesus.  My love for you far exceeds, and will always far exceed, any love I have for anyone else on earth—PERIOD.

I covenant with You, Lord, that, in any interaction with a woman, I will remember that she is first and foremost Your friend and daughter; furthermore, should I desire to pursue a relationship with such a one, I covenant with You that I will honor her, pray for her, and seek to preserve her purity at all cost.

I covenant with You, Lord, that I will not engage in any sexual activity, outside of holding hands, kissing, or enjoying a loving embrace, prior to or outside of a marriage covenant.

I covenant with You, Lord, that, if—and when (it is hoped!)—I am privileged to remarry, I will love my wife with all that's within me; furthermore, I covenant with You that I will not do anything willfully that dishonors her or harms her or leads her away from You in any way.  As her husband, Lord, I will pray continually for her, seek always to communicate lovingly and honestly with her, and, under the inspiration of Your Holy Spirit, lead her to You in all things...even that which might seem trivial.  In all humility and submissiveness, Lord, I will put her well-being ahead of my very own.  And should we be blessed with children, Lord, she will remain my top priority—my second love—after You.

"With Each Stride"

A few months after my late wife's death, in honor of her and to raise money to combat MS, I ran with Team MS ("Strides Against MS") the Marine Corps Marathon in Washington, D.C.  It was the first time I’d ever done anything like that.  Preceding the actual event, I trained for a few months.  During the training, I ran 21 miles twice, but never actually ran the two 26.2 mile (marathon length) runs suggested in the training.  As a result of this, I began the marathon event not knowing if I could actually complete the whole thing.  I did all of this on purpose.  To me, it was a spiritual thing.  I’d heard people talk about “the wall,” but I’d never experienced it, and I wanted this one event to be the first time that I’d actually experienced that which I’d only heard other people talk about.  I wanted to do something that would require more from me than I thought I had.  Brenda had fought valiantly in life, and I, in a way, wanted to honor that fight by placing myself smack-dab in the middle of a situation that, to complete, would force me to push far beyond my previously experienced limits.

The results exceeded my wildest of imaginations.

I hit the wall at about 23 miles.  When that happened, my running became the most mindful thing I’d ever done to that point.  My purpose in life with each stride became just that:  each stride.   My whole body ached; I was exhausted and spent, but my entire being was dedicated to each stride.  To EACH stride.  To THIS stride.  Left…right…left…right.  This was probably the first time in my life that I’d actually done something while remaining totally present in what I was doing.  There was nothing else…just “this” stride.  No hopes…no fears…no wishes…no regrets…just me expressed honestly in each stride.  This ever present stride.

I share the above, because I know what it feels like to be “mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted.”  Perhaps you're right there in that place yourself and feel ready to throw in the towel.  With everything that's within me, I want to urge you to not give up.  The victory or breakthrough that you've been working toward and hoping for may be just around the corner.  Hang in there, my friends.  It's coming.  Often, things get really tough just before the breakthrough comes.  Again, hang in there.

Also, I would like to offer that your breakthrough may, in fact, be more of a “break with” than a "breakthrough."  Perhaps, it will be a "break with" an element of your past that has held on oh so tightly.  Or, on a more global level, a "break with" the cocoon of your birth into the awakened life.  Again, with all that's within me, I want to urge you to tie yourself in and to just hang in there a little while longer.  It's coming--whatever IT might be.  Believe that it's coming.  But acknowledge, also, that it's not here yet.  While it can be a fabulously wonderful thing to visualize the future joy that will arise from victory, I want to urge you, also, to stay with where you are.  As tasty as you think the the finish line might be, stay with where you are.   Again, tie yourself in to right where you are, and let yourself taste--perhaps even savor?--the present moment, for there really is nothing else.  Yes, there will be a future, and I wish for that future to be this huge magnet that pulls you ever onward, but...in reality, there is no yesterday, and there is no tomorrow.  Neither exist in your experience.  The only place in time that exists right now is right now.  So...hang in there, keep going, and stay in the now.  And, listen, too, to the cheers from those who’ve gone on before you...the ancients who comprise, as Hebrews indicates, a great cloud of witnesses.  Can you hear them?  Open the ears of your spirit, my friends, and give them a listen.  You may be surprised at how much energy such a thing can provide.

Before I go, I would like, if it be possible, to encourage you a little with a dream I had several years ago, for I feel that it is, in many ways, for all of us.  For those of you who already know of this dream, bear with me, okay?

Alright...here it is...

About a month after my wife's death (about four months before the aforementioned marathon event), I was in the Dominican Republic, and I had a dream.  In my dream, I was in a stadium, and I was down on the field stretching and limbering up in preparation for a race that I was about to begin.  Hundreds of thousands of people were in the stands.  In my vision, I saw my wife, Brenda, walking toward me.  I stopped for a moment and just watched silently as she walked up to me.  Before I could say anything, she was standing right there in front of me.  I will never forget her words:  “Dave, I just want you to know that I’ll be up in the stands cheering you on.  And when you get to the finish line, I’ll be right there waiting for you.”

Stride to win, my friends, because you already have.  The winning is really not found at the finish line.  Rather, I believe it’s discovered in each conscious stride we take...where our whole being is put into that very stride--the stride of the moment...of THIS moment.  Right here, right now.

Happiness is the step…not just the journey, my friends.   Take heart, for many are cheering you on, and the cheers are completely genuine because every single one of them is coming from someone who's experienced similar things to what you've experienced...similar things to that which you're experiencing right now.  We all have at least one thing in common with each other, and that's this.  we’re all human.  And it’s good--ALL good!!  If I'm mistaken (and I know I'm not!), God said that in the first chapter of Genesis.

Something to practice...

Sometimes, not unlike everyone else, my mind fills up and, quite insidiously, wanders all over the place doing whatever it can to keep me from focusing on the present moment.  So...in preparation for  (and during!) such times, I have a practice of asking myself three questions about the moment and then answering them exactly as I have decided beforehand to answer them.  Provided below is what I ask and how I answer myself.  I've found this practice to be EXTREMELY helpful.  I hope you do, too.

God bless you,

Bling

The questions...

Where are you, Dave?  HERE.

What time is it?  NOW.

What are you?  THIS MOMENT.

"Was Jesus Poor in Spirit?"

In the small group I am a part of, we spent one night, recently, going through the beatitudes (Matthew 5:1-12) in "The Sermon on the Mount."  During the study, the question came up, “Was Jesus poor in spirit?”  I thought it was a great question.  The opinions as to whether He was or wasn't were varied, as one might expect.  Since then, I’ve been doing a little more thinking on this whole question and thought I’d share some of my thoughts with you.  As with everything I post on this site, I am keenly interested in any thoughts you might have.

So...was Jesus poor in spirit?  I think He was.

The life of Jesus is just as instructional as His Words.  Perhaps even more so.

Jesus was not just a practitioner of what He preached; He embodied what He preached.  He spoke from His Heart and from the cutting edge of His Own Life, and that’s what made His Words so powerful.  They were, quite simply, the overflow of the good things already at work within Him.

Jesus preached poverty of spirit.  Was He Himself impoverished?  I believe that He was.  The scriptures teach that, when Jesus came to earth, He emptied Himself and took on the form of a servant.  Reading between the lines in the gospels, one cannot help but notice how Jesus seemed to live from day to day on what His Father gave Him.  Jesus knew that, as a human, He was limited, and that He had needs that could only be met external to Himself.  In recognizing and embracing His human limitations, Jesus freed Himself to receive all that His Father wished to give Him.

In life, Jesus toiled and worked to make His Life the best it could be, but He understood that bread alone could not satisfy the deep hungers that, quite literally, lived inside Him.  More than physical food, human beings need the relational Presence of God.  God’s Life cannot be conjured from within; it must be received from above and can be received only by those who feel their own inner starvation (or poorness) of soul.

I believe that Jesus Personified poorness of spirit.  He subsisted on physical food, yes, but He LIVED on God’s Word.  Food, shelter, and safety result essentially in only one thing:  restful sleep (which, mind you, is NOT a bad thing).  To grow, though, one must commune with God.  Oh that God might use my spiritual hunger pangs to awaken me to the banquet of His Presence.

Bling

"My Mission in Life"

To love Jesus…

To let Him love me…

To love others…

To build relationships…

To bring water to the thirsty…

To practice everything…

To play at life…

"What I Encourage Myself to Do...to Become...to Be"

Accept, choose, and embrace what is and whatever arises with enlightened wisdom—that is, without judgment, without resistance, without attachment. Welcome it with unconditional friendliness.

Forgive eagerly, completely, and freely all those who’ve hurt you in your life, and, in as much as it’s up to you, make your peace…with God, with everything, and with everyone—including yourself.

Cause no harm.

Deescalate your aggression (especially toward yourself and toward those you love and care about), and let go of all defensiveness.

Pay attention to your efforts to preserve who it is you think you are as well as your efforts to hold on to that which you think is yours.  Recognize, also, when you’re beginning to engage in abusive or discursive self-talk, and, in those moments, be kind to yourself, engage your wisdom mind, surround and rise above your thoughts, and make peace in and with the present moment by keeping an open heart and by not shutting down.

Breathe in the sufferings of others, and die again and again and again with each outbreath. Be a conduit of God's loving-kindness, joy, compassion, and equanimity.

Slow down, pay attention to your surroundings, acknowledge what’s happening and what’s being “put out there,” and, with uplifted head and shoulders, be who you are, and be mindful in every act.

Side-step attacks (if at all possible), absorb direct blows like water, and, when the storms come (and they will come), be like the willow, and bend with the breeze, looking to God and remembering that, as with everything, “this, too, shall pass.”

Practice. Practice everything…practice all the time…even when you’re distracted, discouraged, tired, or just don’t feel like it.

Discover the wisdom of “no escape”—that is, of staying on the spot, leaning in to the sharp things, and making friends with your hopes and your fears.

Go to the places that scare you, relax into your own groundlessness, hold nothing back, and be happy…all the time…without a reason in the world.

“Our Brokenness: The Building Blocks of God’s Redemption”

“And I will pray the Father, and He shall give you another Comforter…” (John 14:16)

The Apostle Paul wrote (of Satan) in 2 Corinthians 2:11, “For we are not ignorant of his devices."  Other translations read, "For we are not unaware of his schemes."

How many of you can say that such is true for you?  I can’t…at least, not entirely.  Paul could, though, and others could, too—hence his use of the word “we.”

So…maybe we can’t say that we’re "entirely" aware, but, perhaps, we can say that we’re, at least, partially aware of his schemes.  Fortunately, through the Spirit’s power and the illumination of scripture, we have everything we need “for life and godliness” (2 Peter 1:3).  In this post, I want to dive right in to one of the principle arenas of the enemy’s attack in our lives.  To do this, I want to go to Nehemiah 4:1-2…

But, before we read from Nehemiah, please allow me to provide a little context for the passage we're about to read.

After the Jews were carried into exile by the Babylonians and then, subsequently, released some 70 years later, a good number of Jews returned to Jerusalem only to discover their city lying in ruins and the great wall, that had once surrounded Jerusalem, destroyed by fire.  A man, by the name of Nehemiah (and Nehemiah means, “comforter”), was raised up by God to return to Jerusalem to help the Jews recover from their shame and to rebuild the wall around their beloved city.

Okay…let’s pick things up in Nehemiah 4…

“When Sanballat heard that we were rebuilding the wall, he became angry and was greatly incensed.  He ridiculed the Jews, and in the presence of his associates and the army of Samaria, he said, ‘What are those feeble Jews doing?  Will they restore their wall?  Will they offer sacrifices?  Will they finish in a day?  Can they bring the stones back to life from those heaps of rubble—burned as they are?’”  (Nehemiah 4:1-2)

Before we delve in too far, I want to ask you a question:  Are you familiar with the biblical concept of typology?  Typology is, in its simplest form, where something or someone in one portion of scripture can point to, foreshadow, or illuminate something or someone else in another portion of scripture.  In the book of Nehemiah, Sanballat is a type of Satan.  Now, with that in mind, go back up, and read the passage from Nehemiah 4 once more.

If you’ll look closely, this passage sheds a little light on one of the key devices of the enemy:  His accusation of God’s people at the point of their greatest weakness.  In Revelation 12:10, Satan is referred to as “The Accuser of the Brethren.”  Accusing the people of God is the enemy’s native tongue.  And, most often in scripture, the context of his accusations is the backdrop of our weaknesses and failures.  Haven’t you experienced this in your own life?  Here's an example of something I experienced recently in church:  “How can you even stand there and worship, Dave?  Just look at what happened this week—especially, on Wednesday night!  How in heaven can you legitimately worship God given the way you’ve been living this past week?  You hypocrite!  First, get your life together…THEN come and worship.”

Does anything like that sound familiar to you?

All of us, my friends, are broken.  All of us!  There are no exceptions.  All of us are in constant need for God to do for us something that we cannot do for ourselves.  It is okay to go to God with your brokenness, because, quite honestly, that's really about all we have.  After sinning with Bathsheba and then conspiring to have Uriah (Bathsheba’s husband) murdered, David wrote in Psalm 51, “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, You will not despise.”  Confronted with the depths of his own sin and personal weaknesses, David discovered that, in the final analysis, his brokenness before God was all he had, and, in the midst of that brokenness, I believe he discovered, maybe even for the first time, the depths of God’s grace, mercy, forgiveness, and loving-kindness.

I want to return, for a moment, to typology.  While in Nehemiah 4 we see Sanballat as a type of Satan, we can also see Nehemiah as a type of Holy Spirit.  As I wrote previously, Nehemiah means “comforter.”  What did Jesus say He was going to do after leaving the disciples and returning to the Father?  Here are His exact Words from John 14:16:  “And I will pray the Father, and He shall send you another Comforter.”  The interesting thing about Jesus’ Words here is His use of the word “another.”  In John’s gospel, Jesus is, quite deliberately, saying that He is going to ask the Father to send His followers (and that includes us!) “another” Comforter—One like Nehemiah—Who will come alongside us to help rebuild the walls of our personalities so that we will be empowered to “trust in the Lord," "to do good,” and “to dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.”  (Psalm 37:3)  That is the work of the Comforter in your life and mine:  to rebuild what’s been destroyed.

So…when the enemy of your soul comes in to attack you in your feebleness, you can, as Paul wrote, shoot right back at him with the following Words from 2 Corinthians 12:9-10, “But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My power  is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses so that Christ’s power may rest on me.  That is why for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.  For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

While we’re on the subject of looking at scripture, I'd like to leave you with five additional passages that have been particularly encouraging and life-changing for me in this whole area:

“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”  (Romans 8:1)

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.”  (Romans 8:28)

"For God is at work within you both to will and to do His good pleasure."  (Philippians 2:13)

“For I can do all things through Christ, Who gives me the strength and the power.”  (Philippians 4:13)

“Now to Him, Who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His great power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever!  Amen.”  (Ephesians 3:20-21)

There is one more thing that I want to touch on before I conclude this post, and that’s this:  Throughout Nehemiah, we read of the Jews as they work, under Nehemiah’s guidance, encouragement, and leadership, to rebuild the wall around Jerusalem.  Would anyone like to venture a guess as to what materials they used?  Go back and look again at Nehemiah 4:2.

Honestly, it brings tears to my eyes every time I think upon these things.  They used the rubble from the wall that had been destroyed by fire.  This is nothing but God’s grace, my friends.  He uses the brokenness in our lives to heal that very brokenness.  Everything that’s needed to restore your life and mine is already right there, and the Master Rebuilder, the Comforter, God’s Nehemiah in your life and mine, is right here, right now, working in you and in me and with you and with me to rebuild what’s been broken down and destroyed by fire.  Praise Him!

Bling

"A Warrior"

A warrior practices everything.

He relinquishes his pride, he lays down his efforts to orchestrate his life, he cleans up his habits, he lets go of attachments, he becomes increasingly mindful of his emotional states and of his connection to all things, and he takes responsibility for his thoughts, feelings, and actions (and nothing more than that).

A warrior allows life to express itself through him in whatever forms it might take. He uses his mind and his body in ways few people have the courage to. He meditates in every action.  He neither seeks nor runs from pain or adversity; when it comes, he embraces it and uses it to purify his soul.

A warrior keeps death and his life’s purposes in the forefront of his mind.  He’s genuine, authentically present, and open…to life, to God, and to those around him.

A warrior is infinitely happy, he’s at peace with himself, he’s frugal—yet exceptionally generous, he’s a gentle and approachable soul—yet extremely dangerous.

A warrior enjoys the simple pleasures of his own company as well as that of others, he smiles at death and laughs at himself, and he does what he loves.

Above all else, a warrior is a servant, a humble servant…dedicated not just to a great cause, but to all humanity, to God, and, at times, even to himself. A warrior fights for what he believes in and, when required, lays his life down gladly in the defense of those beliefs.

"A Game of 21 Questions"

“I was just wondering as I was walking along thinking to myself.”

—Winnie The Pooh

“You need to start asking better questions.”

—Socrates

Every day, I ask myself questions.

And—you know what?—it’s not so much how I answer them that really matters.  What matters, is that I bother to ask in the first place.  Questions challenge the way I’m thinking and feeling in the moment and, ultimately, the way I'm choosing to live in that very moment.

Provided below is a list of 21 questions that I started asking myself a long time ago.  In my "practice," I will pick one question from my list and think upon it for a day or two, maybe even a week or more.  The intention is not to see how many questions I can get through in one sitting.  Rather, it is to challenge myself, through my questioning, to awaken to life just a little bit more in each moment.

Consider adopting such a practice in your own life.  In time, you may find that questioning yourself in this manner has contributed significantly to your enjoyment of life simply because it has challenged and, subsequently, enabled you to stay present in your day-to-day, moment-by-moment activities.  Life is about "doing" and about "becoming" (or "rediscovering") oneself in the doing, and happiness in life is experienced in the here and now, and nowhere else.  Question yourself, and let it bring you back to this very moment.  Again, it is not necessarily your answer to any particular question at any one point that is the most illuminating.  Paradoxically, it is the practice of asking, rather than answering, that flips the light switch on.

God's peace,

Bling

The Questions I Ask Myself

Where are you, Dave?  (Here?)  What time is it?  (Now?)  What are you?  (This moment?)

Why are you doing what you’re doing right now?

What are your assumptions?

Are you being kind and caring toward yourself?

Did you see the sunrise today?  Did you watch the sunset last night?

Are you communicating completely and clearly, or are you withholding important information?

When you wash the dishes, can you just wash the dishes?

Are you running or staying?

What scares you?

Are you responding to the event at hand or to just an old memory?

Are you at home with yourself?

How comfortable are you with uncertainty, ambiguity, and paradox?

Are you willing to die to set others free?

What does being genuine look and feel like?

What would you do or how would you be if the opinions of others no longer mattered?

What would things be like if you stopped managing and regulating everything and everybody, including yourself?

From where are you deriving your sense of strength and power?

How do you want to feel tomorrow, next week, next year, five years from now, ten years from now, a hundred years from now, a thousand years from now, a million years from now, a billion years from now?

What makes you come alive?

How tied is your happiness to your circumstances?

Do you “know” that you cannot experience life fully unless you are willing to give everything away?  Willing to no longer hold anything back?  To no longer prepare for your escape?  To no longer look for alternatives to your current experience?  To no longer think that there will be ample time to do things later?

"Tonglen"

Tonglen practice is an ancient monastic form of intercession…not just a way of standing in the gap, but, in the Spirit, a way of filling the gap with the Presence of God.

Quite simply, Tonglen is drawing into oneself the difficulties of another (or a group of people, which can include oneself) and exchanging it with the loving-kindness of God.  It is a way of prayer that can be practiced for anyone you know or meet.

Here’s an example of such a practice in action…

I have two friends, whom I will call S and L, who have a daughter, whom I will call H.  H is in her early 20s and struggles greatly with anorexia.  My late wife, Brenda, battled anorexia for most of her life, and, quite honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever encountered a monster quite so powerful or as devious.  For those of you who have struggled with the disease yourselves, either directly or indirectly, you know exactly what I mean.  (And, for those of you who have, I am so very sorry.  May you experience God's peace in this moment.)

H…

When I pray for H, this is how I approach it…

I focus the eyes of my spirit on her and try to picture her in my mind's eye as vividly as I can.

I then ask, “What are you feeling in this moment?”

Almost immediately something will enter my spirit.  It could be just a word, or a feeling, or an impression.  Right now, as I am writing this and thinking of H, the word “ugly” just entered my mind.  I am feeling in this moment that H is feeling very ugly.  Perhaps she ate well for dinner, last night, and now all she can "see" in the mirror is how fat and ugly eating last night is making her "look" right now.

In my spirit, I am now concentrating on her and the ugliness she is feeling in this very moment.  It’s as though “ugliness” has become something very tangible, almost like a veil or substance that is covering her entire being.

In my spirit, I am, with everything that's within me, wanting to yank the veil completely off her.  And this will, of course, be one of the things I hope to see accomplished as I pray for her.  To begin, I concentrate on H and upon my own breathing, and I picture that, with each inhalation, some of the veil covering H is being pulled off and away from her.  But it's NOT me that's doing it.  No!  (I live 250 miles from H.)  It's the Holy Spirit, Who lives inside me (and inside her), Who's doing it.  I am, quite simply, just a portal through which God is doing His work of bringing relief to my friends' daughter.  So…I continue to breathe, and with each inhalation, I “see” God pulling more and more of the veil of ugliness from H’s very soul.  In my own spirit, I can picture Him pulling it toward Himself and absorbing it into the very Essence of His Being.  I continue to breathe in and out and to visualize all of this until I can sense in my spirit that God has removed the veil completely.

Once I feel a release, through picturing that the veil has been eliminated, I ask God, “What is it that You wish to give H in this moment, Lord?”  And then I listen.  Right now, I am hearing “The feeling that she is My Beloved…My Lovely One, in whom I find such delight.  The One that I love so dearly and so completely.”  That's pretty cool God!

In my spirit, I picture myself becoming an avenue, through which, this knowledge and these feelings can be imparted to and experienced by H.  Through God’s powerful, life-giving Spirit, I become a conduit of His loving-kindness toward her.  And it, once again, happens through my breathing.  But now, though, it's being funneled through each exhalation.  And, as I breath out, I picture these feelings being imparted to H, God’s Beloved.  Again, all of this is God’s doing; I am nothing but an instrument through which He is doing His work…His work of bringing relief to one of His children.  As I exhale, I picture H just being bathed in the light and warmth of these very personal feelings that God has for her.  In my spirit, it's as if I can picture H taking these feelings unto herself, wrapping herself up in them, and experiencing the intense pleasure that comes from being loved so completely by her Father.  Much like the pleasure she might feel wrapping herself up in a warm blanket she just pulled from the dryer.  The loving-kindness of God is THAT tangible, my friends, and it is always right there for us to receive…and to give to others--that we all might be healed.

This is Tonglen practice.  There are many different variations of it, which I will share with you in future posts.  For now, though, I urge you “to practice” these things by breathing in the sufferings of those around you and by dying with each out-breath as God’s loving-kindness is imparted to them.

God bless you and all those whom your heart holds dear.

In Him, by Him, and for Him,

Bling

"Warriorship"

Warriorship.  How often have you thought of such a thing, let alone read about it?

Being a warrior is, as I have come to understand it, all about living a life devoted to three overarching spiritual practices that fall under the banner of Jesus Christ, the Warrior of all warriors:

1. The acceptance of everything as it is;
2. The cessation of the practice of judging everything as either good or bad; and
3. The dropping of all attachments to outcomes.

Accept everything? you ask.

Yep, everything.  Meaning, accept that what is in the moment is what it is and that no amount of energy can ever change what is "right now" into something different than what it is right now.  This does not mean that you cannot strive in the present to bring about change in the future.  In fact, I greatly encourage it, but I recommend taking an aggressively non-aggressive approach to such things.

Acceptance is an attitude of simply choosing to believe and to accept that "what is” is, in fact, "what is."  It's a conscious choice to look at the way things are and to call them just that:  the way they are are.  One of the amazing things about acceptance is that once you've come to accept the FACT that things are what they are, any needed efforts to achieve future change can be initiated from a place of great equanimity, decisiveness, compassion, and prudence.

And judge nothing?

Yep, nothing.  Our notions of what are good and bad are so limiting and, often, inaccurate.  For what may seem bad now, may, ultimately, work out for your supreme good--or the good of someone you love.

Detach?  Completely?

Yep, completely.  Not having to have something you don’t have (or not having to keep what you already do have) can be very freeing, wouldn’t you agree?   

Accept, judge not, and detach...a path of awakening... 

Inside of you, inside of me, there beats the heart of a warrior.  The heart of one willing to plunge deep into the personal sufferings and pain of those around you…willing to embrace cheerfully the truth as well as the impermanence, sorrows, and joys of the moment (including one's own) for the sake of everyone within the realm of your influence and existence.

As difficult as it might seem, one can begin to practice these warrior disciplines from this moment onward.  And it always begins in this moment.  As a friend of mine has said so often, “Start where you are, Dave, for where you are is a perfect place to start.”  Even now, as I hear my friend’s voice in my memory, I can hear the responsive echo within my own heart as it reverberates enthusiastically with a hearty, “Aye.  And I shall!”  Starting where you are is the ground of the warrior’s life, my friends.  And it is, indeed, “a perfect place to start.”

On this blogspot, it is my aspiration, among many things, to be a conduit for awakening the warrior within you…AND within me.

Who am I?  No one special; and yet I am intrinsically valuable.  A long, long time ago, I gave my heart to Jesus.  He is My Hope and My Reason.  My Reason for living, and My Hope in everything.  I lack for nothing because I have Him.  In Him, I really do live and move and have my very being.  And that is who I am:  A being.   His being.  Nothing more; nothing less.  Neither great, nor small.  Just me, as I am:  an extraordinarily ordinary creation of the Great I AM.  I am a “follower of Jesus,” yes, for He alone is the Lord of Creation, the Savior of the World, and the Redeemer of My Life and Circumstances; I am also a “practicer.”  By that, I mean, I am a practicer of everything I do…how I eat, how I walk, how I listen to people, how I wash the dishes, and, yes, even in how I live in the present moment.  Yo-Yo Ma practices the cello.  My doctor practices medicine.  And me?  Well, I practice everything.  Does that mean that I do everything well?  By no means; I am but a kindergartner in a number of things and a toddler in most everything else.  A practicer is simply one who is present in whatever he or she is doing, does whatever it is it for the sheer joy of the doing, and pays curious attention to the feelings that arise while engaged in the activity.

I am now in my third week of operating this blog, and the responses from all of you have been nothing but overwhelming as well as humbling.  Thank you for allowing me to come into your lives in this way.  It is my earnest prayer that, above all else, the Everlasting Father will use these obscure and ordinary posts to illuminate and enrich your life in a grand and extraordinary way.  As I have prayed so very often:  May anything contained herein that is not of Jesus just fall to the ground and escape all notice.  In fact, may it fertilize the garden of God’s grace growing within you.

So…give these things a read, my friends, and “practice” whatever you feel like practicing.  And have fun, too—for that’s at least half the point!  Just so you know, I am keenly interested in your thoughts on any and everything…agreement, disagreement, whatever.  So…don’t be afraid to challenge or call me on stuff, okay?

May God’s graciousness and everlasting peace be with you as you, yourself, begin to practice…right where you are, right now.

Your friend and fellow warrior-in-training,

Bling